Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Microwave O’ Van

[from friendster August 30, 2005 ]


Today… I will again attend my classes after a week in hibernation. Today …I will be discussing Distributed Election Algorithm. Today… I have to be early to prepare for my presentation. My Operating System depends on it. Today… I rode the worst van of my commuting career.
These past weeks, I have observed that these FX (FX is the universal term for AUV’s, whether it be a van or an AUV or worst—an L300 FB) drivers have this insane idea to pack four persons in a seat designed just for three. And they also have this more insane idea that a fan or two substitutes for a good air-conditioning system. But enough of the insane, bad vibes brother! It reminds me of Darwin “the insane and the kleptomaniac’ who stole my phone a few months back and now has the nerve to say that I stole from him, now that is insane!
Let me tell you about my Tuesday ordeal. I arrived early at the FX station, two hours early before my scheduled presentation. I was fresh from my morning bath and had a pretty optimistic view of what’s going to happen having prepared and all. Surprises of surprises! Almost an hour has passed and still no signs of any FX. Damn! I wished they hadn’t adopted this stupid rule that you have to buy tokens before you can fall in line to ride those damn FX, I could have waited for a bus instead.
I was thinking… no use in crying over spilled milk. And in my definitely defining moment of impatience management, I sat there puffing my Marlboros and reviewing my printed report, waiting and waiting. At last! Here comes a van, which in all absolute certainty was one of those right-hand convert types that rolled of the port of Subic.
I had to sit facing the back since this van has the 1st and 2nd seat rows facing each other. Hell I had no choice. Better this than having to squeeze my behind along with three other dudes in the last row designed for three butts. Wrong choice though! As the “Microwave O’ Van” began to roll to our destination, I suddenly felt the kind of dizziness I usually encounter when bending elbows, yet I’m sober! Worse than that, the air-con was spewing fire. Well I guess you all are guessing it’s an exaggeration. Hell no! That was the only thing missing—the flames!
My printed report that I planned on reviewing took on a new purpose. I was continuously using it to fan myself lest I be like those sculptures in the crowd-drawer thanks to Paris Hilton—House of Wax. Now that is an exaggeration. Nah! You weren’t inside that van-of-a-microwave. And when I arrived at my destination, having stepped out of the “tongues of hell” I breathed a sigh of relief, my body felt the relief. The temperature outside was way better compared in that dilapidated excuse of an air-conditioned van!
The drivers charge Php55.00. We pay in full. Why can’t they give their services in full? That means comfort and a functioning air-con to say the least. I feel cheated out of my 55 bucks. Well who can blame these cheating FX drivers, they have President GMA to emulate. And so that is what this country will become or have already become—a nation of cheating presidents, cheating FX drivers and Microwave O’ Vans.

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